all done!!!

Well, I finished my radiation on March 28. It made me pretty crispy and I had a lot of open wounds. Bandages were my best friend for a few weeks. However, my hair is growing back!! I've uploaded a pic. I can't wait til it gets longer. I get strange looks because it's so short. But, I'm doing very well now. I've got to start the Tamoxifen this week. But, the doc said if it's too harsh on me to quit. Yeah!

It's over!!!!!!

I actually did it; my last chemo. I am so thrilled beyond belief. I would be jumping for joy if I had the energy. I have an appointment February 7 to see the radiation oncologist. I will need 6 weeks at 5 per week. I'm going to see if I can set them up for after school so I don't have to miss any more work. They made arrangements for me to go to Integris Southwest Medical Center instead of Baptist so I won't have to drive so far.

The wonderful nurses at the chemo center gave me a small bottle of sparking cider as a congratulations. They even signed their names to a card. It was very touching. Amy told me that it is really good if you can get a massage the day of or the day after chemo. I tried to set up an appointment, but everybody is booked because of the holidays. So, the man at Praxis said that even a massage from a family member is better than no massage at all. He said to just go buy some massage oil and have him give me a 20-30 minutes massage and it would do wonders. So, we're going to try it tonight. It is supposed to cut down on side effects and help the chemo to circulate, killing the cells better.

I called Chemaid today to find out when I should start putting on the hair stuff again. She said to start it tonight. When you get chemo, your body begins to repair itself and concentrates on the areas that really need it. Apparently, the hair comes in last place. The Chemaid gives your follicles what they need to begin to grow. She said I should have at least 1/2"-1" of solid, strong hair in 2 months. I could handle that. So, I'm going to begin putting it on tonight. I can't wait to quit wearing bandanas.

I had Tim take pics today of the procedure during chemo. When I found out I was going to have to do it, I searched the internet high and low to find images of what to expect and couldn't find any. So, I'm supplying some. They're not graphic or anything. Just informative.

Glenda 4, chemo 0

Here, they are santizing my port area.

Now, they are spraying a deadener on. I'm a wimp with needles.

Woohoo! The needle. Yuk. It goes straight into my port.

The needle is in. Whew! It's kinda blurry. Sorry.

It is in and covered with tape.

This is not the port I have, but some they have at the clinic to show patients. Mine is a Power Port. It's purple.

This is the room they do chemo in. In my space, there are 4 recliners. Yes, ever the OCD maniac, I sat in the same chair every time. Here, I'm trying to advance my teaching skills by reading a howto book.

3 down, 1 to go

I had my 3rd round of chemo on December 26. Once again, it was better than the time before. However, I get tired quicker too. Still have the diarrhea, nausea, numbness, no taste buds, etc. Pretty much sucks. But, a little over a week after treatment and I was feeling a lot better. Today, I feel really good. Of course, I have my last round of chemo next Thursday, so, naturally I feel good.

One good thing is that the Monday following treatment is Martin Luther King Jr. day. So, I won't have to take the day off if I'm sick. Pretty sorry that I look forward to having a holiday so I can be sick without taking off work to do it. Oh well, such is life.

My doctor told me that I will start radiation therapy 3 weeks after my chemo is finished. I will go 5 days a week for 6 weeks. Woo hoo! More fun. I don't know if I can take much more of the happy happy joy joy. Crispy boob. At least I will finally get a tattoo. They will tattoo a small dot on my breast to show where the beam of radiation is sent.

Now come on, I know what you're thinking. "I want a tattoo too!" I'm wondering if they would consider putting a nice flower around the dot to make it look spiffy. Something to cover up the beautiful scar I already have on that breast. I will say this though. That scar is the most attractive one I have now. The one under my arm and the one from my port are pretty hideous. But the one on my breast has healed nicely.

One thing I can't tolerate is not being able to feel cold right after chemo. I mean in my mouth. Anything I drink that is supposed to be cold, is lukewarm. Pretty nasty when you're drinking a soda. So, I have to stay away from soda for about a week after treatment. Hot stuff is great. Tastes hot. I can tolerate milk and orange juice.

About a week after my last treatment I decided I couldn't take it anymore. I needed some ice cold water. When I took a drink I started crying. I could feel the cold! Tim couldn't understand why I was crying. But, the frustration level just gets so high. I feel so helpless to help myself. You're nauseous so you can't eat much of anything even though you're hungry. You crave an ice cold pop or water and can't drink it because it's flat disgusting when it hits your mouth. You sit on the couch and watch "What Not to Wear" and cry because you want nothing more than a makeover, but you haven't got any damn hair to make over.

I totally understand why people have to go on anti-depressants during treatment. Especially if they are doing more than 4. At least I know I've only got one more and I'll be done. It make me sick to think about having 4-5 more. That's the only thing that's kept me from taking an anti-depressant.

Here's a funny story though. That same day I was on the couch crying while watching "What Not to Wear," Tim had went to pick Kati up from work because of the ice. T.J. heard me crying and came flying into the living room. He asked why I was crying and I cried some more and told him I was ugly. He told me I wasn't and fell quiet. After a few minutes of listening to me blubber, he said, "Well, I think dad can handle this when he gets home." Then he promptly went back in his room. If I hadn't been so busy blubbering, I would have died laughing. And, yes, dad came home and fixed it. He changed the channel.

So, anyway, next Thursday, January 17, is my last chemo treatment. I won't be sorry to say goodbye to the wonderful nurses who take care of me there. Hopefully, I will never see them again.

Whew!

Well, this time went significantly better than the last treatment. I am going to try to handle work tomorrow. This time last treatment, I was still bedridden. I'm still very weak, having bouts of diarrhea and nausea, no taste buds, etc. Everything seems so surreal. It's like I can't really focus on anything mentally or visually. It's a very strange feeling. It wears me out to just get up and walk around the room. My stomach just cramps and rolls. It drives me crazy. But, I've been out of bed all day today. I sat on my butt in the living room, but I wasn't laying in bed. That can't be bad, right? Maybe it'll get better as I do more. Since I took that Neulasta shot, I shouldn't have to worry about getting a bug this week. One can only hope.

I shaved some more off my head today. The back was a little long. Every time I lay down, it would hurt my head. Kind of like when you have your hair in a ponytail high on your head all day, then you take it out and it feels like your hair hurts. I know, basically only women can understand that. But, that's the only way I can describe it.

I wish I had something witty and inspiring to say, but I don't. I really just want to go lay down. However, it looks as though I may win this round with chemo.

More chemo

I did my next treatment on November 29, 2007. Due to my white blood cell count being so low last time and me getting so sick, my onco felt I needed a Neulasta injection this time around. So, I got that November 30. They had to inject it into my belly. It is supposed to tell my bone marrow to make more white blood cells. So, naturally, a side effect will be bone pain since they'll have to up their production.

I'm incredibly tired today. But, I'm going to try to rest 30 minutes at a time instead of laying in bed all day. I can't stand that. My body is starting to go numb. Quite annoying really. But that's the only 2 things going on right now. I am waiting on that stupid Mack truck to come barrelling through the house any time now to knock me off my feet.

Kati bought me a cool Jimmie Johnson pj set last night. So, I'm decked out in blue, yellow, and 48 just hanging out for the day. Maybe it won't be as bad this time. I really hope not.

My onco also said I could wait until after Christmas for my next treatment. It was supposed to be on the 20th of December, but he took pity on me. I'm going in on December 26. So, he said I should feel really good about that time cause I'll have a few extra days of recovery. But, then I'll only have one more treatment after that.

My head is getting balder by the day. It's very cold with no hair. So, I try to wear some sort of head covering all the time. We'll see how it goes this weekend.

Chemo 1, Glenda 0

Well, chemo knocked me off my butt. It was brought to my attention that my previous post didn't give chemo the respect it deserved. When I wrote "Chemo, Shemo" I wasn't trying to say, "Ha! I beat it!" I was actually trying to psych myself up more than anything. I was waiting for the side effects to hit me. I knew they would. I was just hoping that all of the vitamins I was taking would help to combat it some. Ha! Fat lot of good that did. However, I am still taking them religiously. Tim won't let me even think about not.

Back to chemo knocking me off my butt. Literally. Saturday, following chemo, I was very tired, but otherwise okay. By Sunday morning, I felt like I had been hit by a Mack truck. And a train. And a bus. I had major flu-like symptoms, my whole body was numb, I had a coating on my tongue, and I couldn't taste anything. Tim had to wait on me hand and foot. I wasn't capable of anything except going to the bathroom and I could barely do that. That continued through Monday. It was terrible. By Tuesday I was able to move around a bit.

Wednesday, T.J. had his first special olympics bowling competition. I had originally planned on going to that in the morning then returning to work for the rest of the day. By the time I got ready and got to the school, I was cursing that same Mack truck, train, and bus. My whole body was numb and I felt I was walking around in a surreal world. I asked my sub to stay the whole day and I let our WONDERFUL school receptionist/angel know that I wasn't going to be able to make it for the rest of the week.

I did go to special olympics, but I pretty much sat at a table and zoned out. One of my friends coined a new term. Well, new to me. Instead of being in a comatose state, I was in a chemotose state. She took a picture of me and I'm kind of afraid to see it. I probably look like one of the stars of "Dawn of the Dead." And I'm not talking about the stars that are running from the zombies, I'm talking about the zombies.

Anyway, I went bowling Thursday night with T.J. and then more special olympics Friday. By the time I was done, I had caught a bug because my white blood cell count had plummeted by Thursday. I ran a 102 temp Friday and Saturday. Unfortunately, I can't blame the Mack Truck, train, and bus for that. I ran after them and threw myself at them. This was strictly my fault.

Sunday was better. We had Thanksgiving dinner at my in-laws house. I only had to lay down and rest one time. Not too bad. By Monday, I was able to go to work. I actually made it through Monday and Tuesday with minimal problems. Started getting a little run down again Tuesday, but, Thank God, that was the last day of School before break.

Wednesday morning, my hair started falling out. Not much. But enough to start me worrying. Thanksgiving day, when I took a shower, it flowed out of my head and down my body with the water. I just about had a nervous breakdown. I guess Tim heard me crying, because next thing I knew he was right there with me. The drain was covered in hair. My back was covered with hair. When I washed it and pulled my hands away, there was hair all in my hands. Quite devastating. He helped me out of the shower, got the hair off of my back and put me to bed while he cleaned out the shower.

I started thinking once again, "Is this worth it?" 7%. I add 7% to my chances by going through this hell? Good God. I started telling him on Tuesday of last week that I wasn't going back. I knew I didn't mean it. I know I have to do everything in my power to save myself. So, yes, I'll go back. I just won't like it. On with my story...

After my shower ordeal, I started carefully brushing my hair. No need for that. A wad came out with each stroke. I dried it and hair fell out into the sink simply from being hit with air! I walked around for 3 days with hair coming out at every turn. It was constantly on my clothes. My head itched and ached. I could literally FEEL the hair coming out of the follicles. I had to keep going to the bathroom to brush and pull. It would feel better for a little while, then start driving me crazy again.

When we reached the conclusion that it was not going to stop, we decided to go to the wig store and check them out. By the time we got there, I had very little hair left. Well, little by my standards. Still a lot more than most people have. But, I had already begun to hate my own hair. As I was trying on wigs, the lady who was helping us told me that none of them were going to fit right because I still had enough hair that it was bunched underneath. She suggested I let her shave it then and there. She had breast cancer twice and knew what I was going through. So, we said go for it. She shaved it about the length of T.J.'s hair, about a half inch or so. I picked out a wig, blew $350 and left with my new do. And, yes, it's still falling out.

So, chemo 1, Glenda 0. I'm heading to the next round November 29. We'll see who wins this round.

Chemo, Shemo

I started chemo today. Taxotere and Cytoxin with a couple of other things to combat nausea.It only took a little over 2 hours for everything to be done, but I was there 4 hours. It was the waiting, waiting, and waiting. But, so far, so good. I didn't have any allergic reactions and no nausea. I'm very sleepy though. I think I could have slept the rest of the day when we got home. But, T.J. had bowling tonight and I didn't want to miss it. Besides, all I did was sit.

We'll see how tomorrow and the weekend go. My sister-in-law and her husband gave me a HUGE bag of vitamins, minerals, and herbs that should help me with fatigue and try to keep me well during the ordeal.

Also, doing my research, I found out that there are 4 major supplements you should take during chemo: Vitamin C, Vitamin E, Vitamin D3, and CoQ 10. All of which I now have plus 10 other things. I'm really hoping they help.

Also, my EVP3 came in today so I'm going to start using it tonight. I've got my fingers crossed.